VOLUME 4 The Prague Stepchild  March 12, 2003        
 



ABBREVIATIONS:

CZR ..........Czech Republic

ODS ..........Prague Millionaires Club

CSSD.........Society for Higher Taxes

BIOGRAPHIES:

Bila, Lucie: most popular singer in CZR.

Capek, Karel: Invented a word to describe Czech workers.

Comenius(Jan Komensky): Moravian educational reformer who was stoned to death by a mob of seven-year-olds for inventing the textbook

Charles IV: Bohemian king who succeeded in having every structure in Prague named after him, mostly due to the efforts of an excellent publicity agent.

Dejdar, Martin: the CZR's answer to Michael Jackson, although not as funny.

Fernet, Jan: invented a popular liqueur by mixing together household cleaning supplies.

Gott, Karel: largest consumer of hair tonic in CZR.

Golem: figure artifically constructed in Prague in the form of a human and endowed with life. See Milos Zeman.

Havel, Vaclav: playwright and ex-president. Imprisoned by the communists for using too many big words.

Hus, Jan: tried to compete with the Catholic Church but was put out of business. Coined the phrase, 'out of the frying pan and into the fire.'

Kafka, Franz: journalist and historian, whose articles about the Czech bureaucracy were later mistakenly classed as surrealistic fiction.

Kundera, Milan: writes fictional books in French. Read by people who want to impress their friends. Children have been known to giggle when adults speak his name.

Klaus, Vaclav: Former prime minister and current President. Known as practical joker, especially for his famous practical joke, 'The Czech Coupon Scheme'. Popular for his relaxed manner and casual good humour. Often has lunch with Jesus Christ. Plans to donate his ego to the Gugenheim Museum after retirement. Favorite book, 'Hypocrisy Is Just A Word.' Favorite saying, 'I told you so.' Favorite pastime: despising Vaclav Havel.

Spidla, Vladimir: Current prime minister CZR and former ukelele salesman.

Zelezny, Vladimir: great, great, grandson of Vlad the Impaler. A kind, gentle man who gave up charity work to control all the media in CZR. As a newly elected senator from a village that has no name, he has vowed to represent the people and stay out of prison. Ambition: to make stealing an Olympic sport. Favorite role-model: God.

Zeman, Milos: first hermaphrodite to hold high office in CZR. See Golem.

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