VOLUME 3 The Prague Stepchild   March 6, 2003        

Vladimir Železny and Vaclav Klaus stated in a joint press conference held today: "We are not friends." The press conference appeared on TV Nova and was filmed in the newly occupied Presidential Palace. "Rumors that we have helped each other out with political favours and such are comepletely unfounded. In fact, I only found out yesterday that his first name is Vladimir!!" Said the newly elected President Klaus with a laugh.

Železny stated that TV Nova and TV Prima, which he both controlled, were independent and unbiased media sources. He went on to say that even if he was successful in planting his own puppet supervisor in Czech Television, Czech TV would remain independent. "I believe in the free press, as long as no one mentions my son David has a compulsion for raping women," said Železny.

The press conference prodeeded smoothly until Železny was heard to say: "Being the smartest man in the Czech Republic, I don't need to rely on political favours."

At this, the newly elected President's face grew red. He responded in his famous whiny, aggressive tone:"I have heard many people say they are the smartest, and many people act as if they were the smartest but it is highly doubtful that you are the smartest man in the Czech Republic."

Železny's response was an attempted kick at the President's groin. The wily Klaus, moving faster than his looks would indicate, blocked the kick with his knee. The press conference then descended into an angry brawl and the camera feed was cut.


(c) Copyright The Prague Stepchild 2003